Potter Pals and teh Internetz
by American Punk
Summary: What happens when Hermione brings a laptop to Hogwart's and the cast realizes that they're nothing but characters in a book? Obviously, hilarity ensues.


_Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize!_

Potter Pals and teh Internetz

Hermione Granger decided that it was high time that all the witches and wizards at Hogwarts should have their first experience with laptops and the internet. Little did she know, J.K. Rowling controlled their little universe and had made them quite popular. If she'd ever taken them time to Google herself, she would realize it, but there were always books to read. Then again, she should have realized that she was a bit of a one-dimensional character based after the stock character of the nerdy bookworm that is in every book and play.

Anyway, she brought the laptop, which she conveniently knew all of the right charms for so it would work on Hogwart's grounds, to the Gryffindor table where Ron, who was stuffing his face with food as usual, asked her what it was, spraying them with bits of partially masticated food in the process. She answered that it was a laptop and they all oooh'd and awww'd like they actually knew what it was. Even Harry didn't know what it was but that was because he lived in a freaking cupboard for over half of his life.

"Here" Hermione said, "let me show you how it works."

By this time, all of the Professors and most of the other students were crowding around. People were stepping on the first years in order to see better. When she pulled up her homepage, which was her personalized Google page, she explained what it did.

"Hey Hermione, why don't you search for Harry!" Ron shouted, trying to be heard over the yells of other people.

"Why not!" Hermione announced as she typed Harry Potter in the search engine. She gasped when 120,000,000 pages were yielded in her search. "Wow, Harry's really famous!"

"Hey!" Draco yelled "I see my name! What's Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy slash fanart mean?"

"I don't know." Hermione said "I'll click on it and see."

She clicked on it, students screamed, Harry fainted and Draco Malfoy clawed out his eyes. Crabbe and Goyle however, stared at the screen with aroused fascination. Hermione quickly clicked the back button and someone threw water on Harry to wake him up and another student tore off a bit of their robe to put over Draco's bloody eyeholes. Draco began to moan "No, someone please stop the penises! They're attacking me."

"Let's agree never to click on anything that says 'Slash' ever again!" some homophobic student standing on Colin Creevy's youngest brother Cuatro Creevy, who was the fourth brother to come to Hogwarts.

"Hey Hermione, what's 'Potter Puppet Pals'?" Ginny asked cautiously.

"Let's see!" Hermione announced. She clicked on the link 'Potter Puppet Pals and the Mysterious Ticking Noise'

The students began to laugh as puppet Snape began to chant his name; they fell on the floor when Dumbledore came into the screen. However, when Ron came on the screen, Ron was pissed off that someone was making fun of his voice.

"It's not my fault that I was castrated as a child…wait, why is Dumbledore NAKED?"

"Hey let's go to !" Someone shouted. Hermione clicked on the link and saw the featured video was called 'Snape's Diary'. She'd secretly loved Professor Snape for years so she clicked on it immediately. Everyone began to laugh again while Professor Snape began randomly cursing students in anger. Even Hermione had laugh, despite the fact that she desperately wanted to jump Snape's bones and cursed J.K. Rowling for writing her with Ron who was castrated as a child. Hermione then remember she wasn't supposed to know who J.K. Rowling was and tried to stop thinking.

"Hey," Hermione said, getting an idea "Let's Google Professor Snape!"

"Yeah!" the students chorused. Hermione began to type his name…

To Be Continued

A/N I was bored and I thought about how funny it would be if Harry and the gang found out they were famous and they're world was controlled by one woman. Here it is!


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